Here we examine how you can resume the sex life you desire after birth while feeling confident and comfortable with it.
Improving your sex life can take a while, you can feel ready in just a matter of weeks or you may find yourself not ready for a few months after you’ve just had a baby. Each woman is different and you must never worry that you aren’t normal or feel pressured that you are different.
This is a period of great readjustment as you continue learning how to live with your body being different after pregnancy, and get in tune with the needs of the baby. It is therefore normal if sex doesn’t rank too highly in your priority list. Exhaustion is something to be expected because of the increased demands on your time as well as interrupted sleep. Both of these can have tremendous impact on how ready you are for sex.
Once you are ready, there is no need for you to wait until after the 6-week check that people normally do. The best thing is to wait until the post-birth bleeding ceases (usually between 10 to 14 days but can proceed for weeks). The reason for this being that the uterus is still healing and having sex before the bleeding ceases creates the possibility of creating an infection.
How Various Births Can Affect Your Sex Life, Postpartum
The type of birth you have had determines the amount of time it will take for you to go back to having sex after recovering from labor. Delivering a child takes a toll on the body and you will surely need some time to recuperate, and some getting used to being a mother.
You will feel sore with a tear or the stitches that follow a cut (episiotomy). After 10 days, the stitches should dissolve and within 2 weeks the healing should be underway and the soreness ought to have subsided. In case you still have stitches, you can try to switch to positions that will limit penetration as well as lower the pressure on the area. The important thing is that once you are ready for sex, you should take it gentle and slow.
In case you underwent a natural birth, you will probably feel uncomfortable and tired most of the time. Healing will be quicker with no cut or tear and you may feel ready for sex much earlier than when you’ve had an episiotomy. However, if you still have some areas that sting or feel bruised it may be advisable to take it gently.
If you underwent a Cesarean section (C-section), you may worry about your scar but even this should be properly healed before the stitches come off. You may opt to switch to a position that do not put pressure on your scar if it is still sensitive.
Fear of pain, tiredness, or other kinds of fears, such as the reopening the of scar or vaginal tissue reopening can all play a role in your readiness to continue having sex. Talk to your partner since it can help because worries surrounding sex can delay sexual feelings or even arousal. Spending more time on foreplay without the feeling that you need to proceed to penetration also helps. Lubrication during sex also helps a great deal because it lessens the toll of penetration in sex.
More Info About Pregnancy, Postpartum & Sex!
While breastfeeding, the levels of estrogen in your body remains low to ensure delayed ovulation and getting pregnant again. This is your body’s way of ensuring that another pregnancy doesn’t happen to soon after the previous one. Vaginal dryness can be one of the effects. You need to take it slowly and use some lubrication if this is the case. Low levels of estrogen in some women also lowers the desire and they might find themselves having a lesser sensitive clitoris too. Testosterone (libido boosting hormone) levels also drop while prolactin (milk-supply hormone) rises.
Oxytocin is a hormone responsible for making your milk flow and is also released during sex making it possible for you to spurt milk during orgasm. Some couples really love this while others simply do not. If you do not, then feed the baby prior to having sex to ensure that your breasts are not full or you can wear a pad in your bra. Help your partner understand how your sexuality is affected by breastfeeding and that you don’t enjoy having your sensitive and tender breasts touched. However, if you enjoy the breasts being touched, there is no reason not to.
In case your partner sucks on the nipples, they can release milk thereby taking them by surprise. Unlike milk from other mammals such as cows, human milk has a sweet taste due to its high content of lactose (natural milk sugar).
You also need to ensure that your partner does not move directly from oral sex to sucking nipples since this can transfer thrush.This is not good for both parties.
6 Ways Improve Sex After You’ve Had a Baby
1. Better Communication with your Partner
Communicating and having a mutual understanding of one another’s needs is critical to keeping a loving relationship alive. Help your partner understand that asking for sex when you are coping with the demands of a young baby may be a bit too much. However, make them understand that while the focus is on the baby currently, it does not imply that you are pushing them away or no longer love them.
Likewise, the desire of your partner to have sex is most likely a way of them trying to express their affection and love for you and not intended to be demanding.
2. Get Over the Privacy Hump
The presence of the baby makes many parents feel inhibited when they desire to have sex. However, do not be embarrassed if he or she is in the room. The baby is already used to the body’s gurgles from inside and hearing them a lot too, so hearing it from the outside does not upset the child at all. In addition, the baby probably doesn’t care what you are doing.
If the baby is in your bed, you have to be careful or place him or her in the crib. If the baby cries for a feed, you might get interrupted but the baby is not judging you. Soon you will be getting your privacy back.
3. Sexual Positions, Before and After Pregnancy
To deal with exhaustion, accept any offer of assistance with the house and baby that you receive to help you get some rest. Once you have rested, you might feel sexier.
Select a time when the baby is least likely to disturb you such as after a feed.
Talk to your partner about your feelings and the changes to your body along with the ways you like or don’t like to be touched.
Explore the vagina gently with the fingers to help you find out whether there is any change or pain for yourself first.
Avoid going straight for full penetration. Mutual masturbation or oral sex may be easier to start with.
Ensure that you are fully aroused prior to penetration and always use lubricant.
Switch to positions that inhibit penetration, this will help you figure out what kind of position is best for you. This not only helps you understand which position gives you less pain but gives you a chance to explore your sexuality.
Discuss with your partner immediately if you feel any pain down below as this is something that needs to be avoided.
4. Relax and Take your Time to Do Things
Do not feel pressured if you are not ready for sex. The reasons that many women that had sex after pregnancy before being ready are provided below:
- The desire to get it over and done with.
- Assuming that other women had resumed sex already.
- Pressure from their partners or feeling that they were neglecting their partners.
You need to prioritize your feelings. Avoid comparing yourself to other women since they might not be telling you the truth about their situation. Importantly, do not feel that your partner is pressuring you. Share your feelings with your partner and explaining the major changes that childbirth, pregnancy, and caring for a new child brings about. Talk to your partner right away in case you are worried and under pressure.
Motherhood is the essence of being a woman, and they say that you’d only become a complete woman after giving birth to a child, naturally. However, you ought to know that the pleasure related to motherhood also comes at a cost. One of the biggest sacrifices a woman should make for that is to let their vagina become a little loose after childbirth– especially after having multiple children.
During labor, the cervical and vaginal muscles contract and expand repeatedly. This, together with the baby going through the vaginal opening would result to slackened vaginal muscles.
5. Using Vaginal Tightening Creams like V-Tight Gel
Even women who used to be tight during their early days are susceptible to having a loose vagina after having a few kids. This could negatively affect their sexual relationship because this would be less enjoyable for their partner.
There are tightening gels that claim to tighten a loose vagina, it tightens the skin and the vaginal walls at the same time giving you better sex in return. It has been shown that it works efficiently, and there aren’t any adverse side effects that can be experienced when using high-quality vaginal tightening gels because they are made of natural ingredients. This has become so popular, especially for women who are looking to tighten their vaginas after pregnancy.
If you’re a mother with several children and is too embarrassed about your loose vagina, one of the best tightening gels that you can try would be the V-Tight Gel vaginal tightening cream. This vaginal gel could correct the looseness of the vagina after giving birth a few times. It’s claimed to work on its own, but when used with a combination of exercise, it’s said to be more effective.
The manufacturers of this product claim that it works in a matter of minutes after application. Not just that, the good thing about this gel is that you can even engage in intercourse even after applying the cream because it works as lubrication as well.
Also, since it’s made up of natural ingredients, such as the Manjakani extract, you don’t have to worry about any adverse side effects at all. So, why spend a fortune on surgery, if you can get the same results with this vaginal tightening cream?
6. Exercises Perfect for Moms Who Have Given Birth Multiple Times
One of the best ways to tighten the vagina naturally after giving birth would be with the help of Kegel exercises on a regular basis. In fact, it’s highly recommended for ladies post-delivery(post partum), and the training involves the contraction of the muscles in the groin area and relaxing them after 10 seconds.
This exercise should be done at least 15 times a day, followed up with four sets of the same workout regularly. Aside from that, you can also try contracting the groin muscles while you urinate and try to hold your urine for about 5 seconds, then release. Do this repeatedly though out the day for maximum effect.
During the delivery of the baby, the pelvic floor becomes overstretched and because of that, it could potentially get weaker. This would result in muscles underperforming during intercourse. Sometimes, Kegels may be enough to tighten the vagina however, if it has already become too loose, then investing in vaginal props may be ideal for you.
These props bulge around the middle, and it enables the user to tighten the muscles around the vagina repeatedly– making them stronger each time.
It’s no secret that even mothers want to have a tighter vagina and most men prefer women with a tight vagina. It plays a critical role in bringing two people closer together– not only physically, but emotionally as well.
So, even if you have had multiple childbirths or pregnancies, you don’t need to worry because you will still be able to enjoy sex after all this trauma on your body. A lot of women have opted to go for a C-section in the hopes that it will save their vaginas from getting too loose but it can only do so much because natural pregnancies will weigh down on the body regardless. Using products like V-tight gel can help you enjoy sex again after having children, even women before any pregnancies are using it just to have more fun in bed!
The methods discussed above are just some of the ways on how to tighten the vagina naturally and are intended for mommies who had multiple childbirths. Give them a try and enjoy a tighter vagina, even if you’re a mom of five kids!